The Wide Embrace of the Father
On a chilly Sunday morning in the fall of my freshman year, I woke to a phone call from my mother informing me that she was driving to my grandparents’ house; my father had cheated on her. In the mix of anger, hurt, betrayal, there was also a slight sense of relief. While everything had looked perfectly fine on the outside, our family had been slowly falling apart. Once I started talking to people about my home life, I realized for the first time that I had been living in an emotionally abusive home for eighteen years. My freshman year at Covenant felt ruined by this realization. It became hard to focus in class, studying was a seemingly insurmountable chore, panic attacks became normal, and even simple interactions with people around me felt like swimming through quicksand.
Ever since that pivotal October day, but honestly for years before that, I have been wrestling with what it means to be God’s daughter. Never having had a good relationship with my earthly father made my relationship with my heavenly one all the more complicated. The idea of God as a loving Father who not only deeply cares but delights wholeheartedly in me is easy to know but sometimes impossible to believe. Almost four years of counseling at the Priesthill Center have played a significant role in my understanding of this truth. Sitting on that couch while my counselor repeats the truths of God’s love has brought me to tears as I’ve been overwhelmed by assertions that feel too good to be true: I am worth loving. He wants me to come to Him, wrap myself in His arms, and feel safe and loved. I am important to Him.
My mother filed for divorce, and three surprisingly long years later—recently, in the fall of my senior year—we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. However, this light involved me testifying in court in front of my father, whom I hadn’t seen in those three years. I again faced panic attacks, overwhelmed by the weight of what I thought was our only shot at justice. I wrestled with emotions that felt too big for me to handle alone. I was so angry that my whole four years at Covenant would be tainted by the pain of a situation that I didn’t see how God could use. Forty-five minutes after an emergency counseling session at Priesthill in the second week of my senior year, I got a text from my mom that they had finally come to a settlement—the trial was off. I fell to my knees in a puddle of tears and thanksgiving.
While my family situation was exploding my first semester at Covenant, before I was even ready to cope with it, the Lord was using the community He had placed around me. I have countless memories of crying with my friends as they held me and told me with their actions and words that they loved me and that my grief and struggle were not a burden to them. They walked alongside me when I didn’t even know what I needed, seeing all the deepest parts of me that I didn’t think were worth loving. During one moment, a couple of weeks into my senior year, all three of my roommates sank to the floor of our room with me as I barely gasped out words of fear regarding the potential trial. Not only did God use my friends to show me glimpses of His love, but He also reached me through professors and staff. When I told Dr. Lynell Martinez I would have to miss class for the trial, she hugged me and said, “Don’t even think about class!” I have been so overwhelmed by the love, support, and understanding from all of my professors as I’ve dealt with various hiccups, often divorce-related, in my time here.
Through this experience that I never would have asked for, God has shown me time and time again what it looks like for Him to protect and care for me so deeply. I have been held in the arms of so many people at Covenant and can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like to go through these hardships anywhere else. While I am still learning what it means and how to accept that God deeply loves all of me wholly and perfectly, I would not be where I am today without the community He placed around me.
This article was written by Alli Tye '27 and originally published in the Fall 2025 issue of Covenant College's magazine, The View.