The Hopes and Fears of Senior Year
Entering my senior year at Covenant, I am oddly nostalgic and retrospective. I catch myself scrolling through photo albums of dances on the overlook, building events in Blackwatch Gardens, and smiles at the Great Hall. Often, rather than praising God for blessing me with this community, I instead grow weary at the prospect of having to leave it all. It is easy to look around at the wonderful life I live on campus and grieve its loss before it is even gone.
Fear in the Unknown
Not only am I thinking back on my time at Covenant, but I am also anticipating what life after graduation will look like. The unknown is a terrifying thing, so to combat this, I plan out my life and then proceed to worry about what will happen when things don’t work out the way I dream they will. Things like how to find an internship that fits me, where I will live after graduation, and how I will fulfill my calling are questions that plague me.
Comfort in the Unknown
All things must come to an end, and my years at Covenant are not an exception. Although this reality can be hard to wrestle with, there is beauty in it, too. College is temporary precisely because it is preparing me to serve God and others after graduation. Everything at Covenant is reorienting my mind to prioritize Christ in all things. Heartfelt meetings with professors show me that even difficult seasons are shaping me for my God-given calling; prayer and praise nights with my hall remind me that God is carrying me through my years at college, and talks at the chapel help me to slow down and see God’s hand in my education.
Confidence in the Unknown
Once I step back and see the full picture, I see my senior year for what it is: an opportunity to praise God. On the one hand, I know that I will miss these years once they are gone. On the other hand, I am grateful that God has placed me in this community and blessed me with these tremendous professors, friends, and staff who equip me to flourish after graduation. Seeing how God has been faithful to me at Covenant, I can rest secure even in the unknown that senior year and graduation bring. After all, I know that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV). Because of this, I can look at these anxieties and overwhelming fears dead on, knowing that I am not alone in this and that the God who has provided for those before me continues to provide for His people today.